


Aragonite

by addny



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Dead Enoshima Junko, Fluff and Angst, Inside Hajime's Head, M/M, Selfcest, chiaki Nanami (mentioned) - Freeform, post sdr2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:00:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24628924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addny/pseuds/addny
Summary: “We need to talk.” Said that voice, a very familiar but different voice. Maybe it was his, maybe it was from someone else – maybe both.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Kamukura Izuru, Hinata Hajime/Kamukura Izuru
Comments: 5
Kudos: 129





	Aragonite

As the dizziness fade away from his clouded mind, Hajime slowly opened his eyes. A flash of blinding light came across his eyelids, urging him to his senses, dragging him out of that dull feeling of sleepiness. The sky was white. The floor was white. The horizon, laying straight till his eyes could see, was also white.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes while trying to adjust them to the endless white around him. He felt the soft and warm fabric under his palms, as he lifted his torso and rested it against another soft and warm fabric, filled with maybe cotton or anything else that could be that comfortable.

_“We need to talk.”_ Said that voice, a very familiar but different voice. Maybe it was his, maybe it was from someone else – maybe both. He lifted his head, as his green eyes slowly began to adjust to his surroundings.

There were two sofas. White, just like the sky and the floor, just like everything else. They were facing each other, from maybe one meter away from the other, two identical and fluffy sofas.

Sitting in the opposite one, was a young man, wearing a black suit that fell from his shoulders like a cascade of pure seriousness that were so matching to his long hair that no one could misunderstand who he was. His bloodred eyes were burning holes on Hajime’s face, as he switched which leg was on top of the other.

_“What do you want.”_ Said the boy with the green eyes, slowly understanding where he was.

_“You should know why I brought you here, Hajime.”_ The man crossed his arms. His voice was deep and low, like a shadow that keeps growing as the light moves itself across the sky. He was Hinata’s shadow in a certain way.

_“If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking.”_ He stated, also crossing his arms. He didn’t hate the person in front of him, and never would – even thought he took control over his body and existence for maybe years, even if he had such a great role in all that tragedy, even if sometimes he felt like he wasn’t himself on the mirror, he would never hate Izuru.

In fact, he wanted to understand him, as for he was kind of responsible for his creation in the first place. He choose to sign that papers, after all. He was the one who gave up his own existence to Hope’s Peak hands. And Kamukura didn’t asked to be born out of him.

In the end, he felt like he was more responsible than the other.

_“You are always so stubborn.”_ He sighed, clearly showing how much he was bored by this reaction. They shared the same body and the same mind space, but still were different personas. _“I brought you here for a good reason, and I suppose you know for what. You have not been eating and sleeping properly.”_

Hajime frowned, darting his eyes away from the shadow-looking man. He wasn’t the first one to tell him that, and probably wouldn’t be the last. Irritating, at least, how everyone wanted to control his choices of himself – just like they did in that project. He didn’t blame his friends at all but couldn’t help but feel like he was being told to not choose what to do.

He didn’t wanted to lose his freedom ever again.

_“I’m fine.”_ His angry tone was clear, and, even if it wasn’t, Izuru could tell right away.

_“Are you?”_ Lifting his chin, the man looked at Hajime through his long bangs of black hair. His eyes were piercing, sharp, like knifes that could cut through anything.

_“I said I am!”_ He stood up, clenching his fists. _“Now, let me go back, I have things I must do.”_

“ _If you were, you would not react in such an angry way.”_ Uncrossing his arms, Kamukura rested his elbow in the sofa’s soft arm, holding his own chin. He sighed, avoiding Hajime’s impatient eyes. _“You really are stubborn. You are ruining your health by overworking yourself. How do you plan to keep working on making them wake up if you can barely stand?”_

_“… I can take this.”_ Said him, feeling his head warmth go from wrath to guilt. He knew he wasn’t taking good care of himself, but the others came first. He didn’t wanted to rest if he could be working on making them wake up from that program, the same one that Izuru put that disgusting IA that made everyone kill each other. He wanted to clean up the mess that his other self made.

_“You cannot.”_

_“ **I SAID I CAN, DAMNIT!”**_

_“We both know this is a lie. In fact, you are just trying to deceive yourself, hoping that will make your mind less hectic. It is like a punishment, I suppose, for all the things you were manipulated on doing.”_

_“Don’t gimme that ultimate therapist shit, Izuru.”_ He sat down again, crossing his legs, shaking his foot out of anxiety. _“I don’t want to discuss that. I’ll be fine, and even if I don’t, I will keep on working to save them. I won’t die.”_

_“I wonder…”_ They both got silent for a while, until he sighed loudly. “ _This is your body before being mine. Do not think that I just want to have a healthy vessel for my consciousness, as I also… worry… about you.”_

Maybe worry was a too extreme word. Izuru wouldn’t know, as he was created free from feelings that could disturb his work as ultimate hope. In fact, they probably didn’t want him to rebel against them, and having a tool without such problematic things as emotions was far more practical.

Bullshit.

Though he did feel things, he was sure it wasn’t deep like normal people could. It was a clear fact by observing how Hajime reacted to things in contrast to how he himself did. But, discarding this new intrinsic type of studying, Izuru never felt more than just a simple dislike – and, this being the pinnacle of his feelings, he could at least consider them to be extreme to his owns standards.

Hesitantly, he considered calling this feeling “like”. In other words, he “liked” Hajime, or, at least, something similar enough. If it was an instinctive version of “self-love” or not, he couldn’t tell, since they met each other maybe two weeks ago. It was too soon to tell yet.

However, Kamukura did, in fact, worried for him. It was logical – that body was also his, not as much as Hinata’s, but still his; and he was born from him. They didn’t share memories or feelings but were still trapped inside that same white and endless space, that somehow felt too little for both. That meant that they were bound to be always together, and dislike each other was out of question.

Still, liking the boy with those feverish green eyes weren’t exactly needed. He could just tolerate him, as he owed a fairly amount to him, for all the things he did and was made to do. He didn’t need to be so… generous.

Bringing him to that space wasn’t needed. He could forcibly front, then eat and sleep properly before letting Hajime get back on control. But he knew best – he knew that it would make him furious at better and broken at worst. It would be boring to deal, yes, but again, what wasn’t boring? Would it really justify deliberately bringing him to inside, just to talk?

The only way he could explain it was by calling this feeling “like”. He didn’t know much, maybe even nothing about it, but he thought that this would probably fit the description. Worrying for him more than needed, making thins complicated just to be sure he wouldn’t get mad, and wishing that he could understand quickly that he should take care of himself like he deserved.

_“Do you?”_ Asked Hajime, looking suspicious.

_“I am not an unfeeling creature. Although I cannot feel such deep and complex emotions like you, I do feel small things.”_ He let go of his chin, untwirling his fingers, speaking calmly. _“I am inside you and it’s obvious that I can see how much you are affected by things. I do not want to invade your privacy, but sometimes it is such a strong wave that is almost impossible to ignore.”_

_“… What? I didn’t understand one word.”_

_“I meant to say that I know how much you are broken, Hajime.”_ The green-eyed boy thought he sensed a hint of worry in his words. For him to demonstrate that, then things should’ve been serious. _“And I do wish to help you. This may seem prepotent of myself, but I have already decided that I am going to take the role of your guardian.”_

_“You telling me you’re gonna be my guardian angel? Funny coming from someone who wears black and have red eyes.”_ He felt weird. It was intriguing and maybe scary to be told something so uncommon and considerate from Izuru. He was always so distant, bored by everything.

_“Hajime. Take care of your mental and physical health. Please.”_

_“Wow calm down! D-Don’t just go saying please like that! I mean, not that is bad, it’s a good thing, but definitely not something you would do.”_

_“I hope this make you realize how serious this situation is.”_ He tilted his head, making all that hair wave slightly on his lap. Well, he never said please before, and he isn’t the type of person that would so easily. In a certain way, it just proved how much he was worried, and how much he wanted him to be fine.

Want. It is a word that he didn’t thought he would need to use. Kamukura didn’t wanted anything, never. He hadn’t emotions, and by logic, that would imply that he hadn’t desires either. The closest thing to “desire” that he could consider having was his wish to escape from that endless boredom. Wasn’t that the reason for him to joining Junko and then plugging that IA into the New World Program?

_“It’s not that easy…”_ The boy sighed, looking down to his trembling feet. _“I just… I just want to wake them up fast.”_

_“Because you think you owe them? Or, is it because you want to prove them that you are not worthless?”_

_“Stop that. You’re not my therapist, geez.”_ He rolled his eyes, already seeing what Kamukura was trying to do. He didn’t wanted to talk about it, he didn’t wanted to remember it. He just… wish that he could help them.

_“I could be, if you so desire.”_

_“I do NOT. Listen, we’re like… roommates now. I don’t plan on shoving you out or whatever, specially because it was my own choice to participate in that experiment. And, well, since we got this body that looks more like a bad work of taxidermy, with a bunch of talents that pop out like magic, it’s kinda obvious that it wouldn’t end up being normal.”_

_“What is your point?”_

_“I’m… telling you that I appreciate that. I m-mean, well, it is obvious that you want to take care of our body and stuff, but, well, how can I put this…”_ It was faint, but nothing could escape from Kamukura’s eyes. The boy was blushing slightly, awkwardly trying to make sense out of his confused words. He didn’t understand why he was blushing at all but kept an eye on his reactions. _“T-Thank you, I guess… for worrying. Or something like that. But I’ll be fine.”_

_“Are you saying this just to flee from me?”_ It didn’t sound like a threat at all, but Hajime felt his bones get cold. _“Do you really think that this course of action will be effective? Do you realize, or maybe just pretend you do not, that you are shoving yourself away from your goals?”_

_“What the hell? Why would you say that I’m pretending to-…? I’m not doing that!”_

_“You are not completely stupid, Hajime.”_ He saw the boy’s face wrap into an angry display. His green eyes boiled with indignation, as his body tensed up, getting ready to fight. Kamukura felt satisfaction by seeing that his objective was getting close. _“By acting so irresponsible like you are, all your friends are using their times to worry about you instead of taking care of themselves._ _It is obvious that they would do so. Your efficiency and productivity are getting progressively worse, a clear consequence of your lack of selfcare.”_

_“T-That is…!”_

_“I would risk saying that your productiveness rate is around 60% at the current time. But, of course, it will get worse as you proceed with such careless behavior.”_ He could see the boy’s eyes going red, about to burst more emotions that he could never wish on experiencing. His breath has gone wild, his foot was moving so vigorously out of pure anxiety, his hands were trembling, full of anger and impatience _. “Now you do realize how you are pushing yourself away from your goals. It makes me think that you are acting so viciously on purpose.”_

_**“ON PURPOSE?!”** _

That was enough. Hajime didn’t wanted to hear any more bullshit coming from someone who didn’t knew him. He was already fed up with everything, tired of feeling constantly scared and vulnerable, tired of being afraid of looking in the mirror and remembering that he was not him anymore.

Since the day he woke up from that program, feeling the extra weight of that long ass hair, in a body that he couldn’t recognize but still were intrinsic attached to him, he could never be at ease enough to keep living like nothing happened.

How could he, anyways? The last thing he remembered before entering that class with everyone, already inside the Neo World Program, was a goddamn surgery table. With stupid tubes on his arm, stupid blue hospital gown, that stupid amount of unknown doctors and nurses around him talking like he was an object with no individuality.

And what hurt him the most is that he choose that. He signed that papers, he choose to give himself up to them, just because he wanted so bad to not be like him anymore. Not that he hated who he was, he just hated not having a talent at all. He just hated seeing how incredible everyone around him was, while he was another nobody without face or worth.

Then, he choose to be selfish and ask his parents to pay his studies in Hope’s Peak Academy, even though they weren’t rich. His dream was fated to the grave way before it started.

And, of course, Hope’s Peak saw his vulnerability and took advantage of it. He knew that, they weren’t innocent, they never told him they were going to erase his consciousness forever and transform him in an emotionless tool.

But, still, he could have said no.

And yet, this shadow of himself, that took control of his body for so many years but still couldn’t and will not be never able to feel emotions, is talking like he could understand what he’s been trough. Telling him that he was doing things like that on purpose was… grievous.

_“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO SAY THAT TO ME?! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?!”_ Sliding to the tip of the white and soft fabric, Hajime clenched his fist in his shirt, squeezing his chest. _“You don’t understand how awful is to be me right now! It has always been, but now is worse! When I woke up, I didn’t knew what happened, I was in a body that didn’t feel like belonged to me, I was told that I’ve been spreading despair and helping the fucking end of the world, even if I didn’t remembered anything!”_

_“I saw my friends killing each other, I was called Izuru Kamukura and suddenly everything I thought I knew was destroyed while I was… while I didn’t existed! I felt scared, so fucking scared, it’s absurd to think that I ceased to exist at some point, and somehow came back to me just to see all this mess! It doesn’t feel right at all!”_

Kamukura crossed his arms again, analyzing Hajime’s trembling aspect. It was close to being painful to watch him screaming with a voice full of despair and sadness, overwhelmed by his own titanic emotions. He could never fully understand what he was saying, but again, he wasn’t an unfeeling monster. He did felt pain, and even if he didn’t have any empathy on his heart, he could still feel like he disliked seeing the boy so broken.

_“How do you expect me to just… keep living normally?! When I look myself in the mirror, I don’t see me. I see someone unknown! It’s scary to feel like you don’t have a body, that someone else took your body and moved around like you never existed! It’s like I don’t belong here anymore!”_

_“Do you hate me, then?”_ Said Izuru, his voice low and deep. Like always, there wasn’t even a glimpse of emotion, but deep down he knew he would dislike having an affirmative answer.

_“Oh, c’mon, I already said that I don’t plan on shoving you out. I’m the one who agreed in… creating you. Almost. Well, I didn’t, but you didn’t ask to be born either! This isn’t about you_!” Letting go of his shirt, he rested his back against the sofa. He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them, still trembling for the explosion of adrenaline. _“I shouldn’t have signed that papers. I was so… I **am** so stupid. I just… wanted to go to Hope’s Peak and have a talent and be useful and worthful so I could face myself properly and I’d be on level with her.”_

_“But I… lost her… Because of my selfishness, she died… she died **twice**!!” _At this point, it was useless to try and hold back his tears. They were flooding his eyes, dripping like cascades of sorrow. _“Because I am useless… even with this messed up body, I still can’t do anything to help her. And my friends may never wake up again. And the world around us is broken, destroyed, full to the brim with despair… because I was too weak. There is no hard work enough in this damn world that would redeem me.”_

_“So… don’t go fucking telling me that I’m doing this on purpose. I didn’t think about… percentage of productiveness or whatever. I need to do this. I can’t stop, I can’t rest, I’d feel guilty and even worse and…!”_

His voice died before reaching the outside of his mouth. A pair of warm and soft arms wrapped around him, clumsy and hesitant. He lifted his head, just to see Kamukura sitting by his side, kind of hugging him, with his eyes closed.

_“Keep going.”_ He said, soft and slightly gentle, a tone the boy never thought he would listen coming from him.

_“W-What are you_ …” He tried, but the arms around him pulled him close. It was… weird. Not bat, but definitely unexpected. Izuru was strangely comfy, not buffed or full of hard muscles. Hajime soon started to sink in the hug, laying against his chest, letting all his sorrow drop in salty tears.

_“So, you do not want to take care of yourself because you think you do not deserve?”_ Never opening his eyes, he murmured in a low voice. That was probably the first time **he** hugged someone. He was hugged before, but never because he wanted. _“You think you are on a penitence?”_

_“It sounds pathetic when you say it.”_ Pouting, he darted his eyes away from Kamukura’s face, slightly blushing. His heart pounding quickly in his chest, warm and comfortable. _“W-Why are you… hugging… me?”_

_“There are scientific studies that analyze the power of a hug. It helps with anxiety, giving a sensation of shelter and security, as it also releases hormones known as ‘happiness hormones’. I thought this would help you feel better.”_ One of his hands slipped to Hinata’s back, gently massaging part of his spine, even if kind of hesitantly. It felt good. _“Do you dislike this?”_

_“Huh? No… not at all.”_ He wiped the trail of tears on his cheeks, softly sobbing. Hinata wasn’t the type of person who would hug or be hugged often. In fact, the last person he hugged was his mom, on what felt like months ago, even if he knew it has been years.

He didn’t have many friends to do so, either. In middle school, saying he had one or two would be generous – in high school, he had none. Not even Kuzuryuu’s little sister, that died not much after they started being in good terms. Wasn’t it lonely?

Hajime was lonely. Always too focused on his dream, worried on having a talent, too much distant of what really mattered. Chiaki tried to show him, but… after being beaten and looked down by that security guard, how could he just don’t feel anymore pressure?

He thought he was going to be fine. He would have a talent, go to the main course, hopefully in Nanami’s class, and then he would’ve had a lot of friends, and a lot of hope in his future. He thought it would be worth it. 

But now, there he was, even more lonely. He saw his friends being killed and dying, stocked in tiny capsules like laboratory test subjects, waiting for their bodies to die or they minds to finally wake up. They were his only friends ever. Of course, he would to the impossible to take care of them.

But… could he be so brave to call Izuru his friend too? He surely hoped so. Not only because they would share a body for the rest of their lives, but because he wanted to be friends with him. Both were more alike than just the physical – they were both lost, lonely, trapped within a strenuous future without their consent.

Besides, his hug was very comfortable.

_“Did you said all that bullshit just to make me speak?”_ Hinata looked at the man again, frowning.

_“As I said, you are not completely stupid.”_ He opened his eyes, still with the same bored expression.

_“Oh, shut up!”_ Growling and blushing, he snorted out of frustration. Darting his eyes around the empty white space, he slowly leaned towards Izuru, wrapping his arms around his waist. _“T-Thank you, I guess…”_

_“I only did what I judged being the best course of action. And it worked, I suppose.”_ He tried to let go, but Hinata pulled him back.

_“Yeah, I think so.”_ Softly, the boy kissed Kamukura’s cheek. It didn’t last more than two seconds, and he buried his face in his neck, between the long black hair.

It was warm. All his face got warm, starting from the spot where he was kissed, spreading through his body, allocating in his chest. He never felt like that before. It was weird, unexpected, odd. But he didn’t dislike it. In fact, he would go as far as considering that he “liked” it, just like he “liked” Hajime.

His heart pounded harder, a reaction he never experienced. It wasn’t a boring feeling at all. He wouldn’t mind having more of this, even if it was a mild and light emotion, it still was the pinnacle of his feelings.

_“It is a good thing you were able to express some of your concerns. Although it is not enough, I do expect you to be more thoughtful with your actions from now on.”_

Red eyes met with green ones, holding up for some seconds. Hinata blushed, feeling weird in considering him pretty while them both had the same face.

_“Yeah, I guess I’ll try. I don’t want to… make mistakes. It could cost their lives.”_ He sighed, feeling a bit of anxiety. _“I don’t want anyone to die anymore.”_

_“You have the means necessary to reach your goals, Hajime. If you keep going without ignoring you own health, my calculations point to a hope-filled result, in which they all wake up in a short amount of time.”_ Kamukura felt the boy’s warm breath in his neck, another source of warmth that would spread trough his body. _“I will send you back, now. You must have spent around 6 hours in a sleep state, but this do not mean that you have already rested.”_

_“Wait.”_ As his arms let go of the hug, Hajime quickly embraced his neck, wishing to extend their contact. _“W-Well… How can I put this…”_ Izuru could feel the boy’s heart beating fast, unable to understand why he would be acting like this so suddenly. _“Let’s… stay like this… just a little more.”_

It was so odd how these words made his chest get warm and tight. He never felt anything like that, and even if he knew what it must have been, it was still a mystery why would he feel it in the first place.

Without any other word, he wrapped his arms around Hajime one more time, letting himself drown in these enigmatic emotions.

**Author's Note:**

> Aragonite is a carbonate mineral. It is often used in magic, as it's power bolsters the strength of your emotional core, helping you confront painful feelings and embrace past wounds. I thought It would fit this history :)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! If there is any grammar mistakes, please tell me so I can fix them right away.
> 
> Special Thanks to my friends who encouraged me on keep writing. Thank you Melzi, Magnus, Hima, Noelle and Bruna. I love you all.


End file.
